UPDATE: Unrelated, but please stop trying to force me to smile. There really is something I find repulsive about overly happy people. I find them too pushy. I have a confort zone, a very sterile one. You are not allowed there. Please.
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Each of you is allowed to ask me one question, and one only, and I shall honestly answer it. Ask anything you want, about my private life, about the universe, anything that comes into your mind.
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I'm working again. At Ox's Jessops. Jessops is a camera retailer. Store. I work with film cameras maily, photo printing in the lab. I love it. Though, sometimes I do need to put the effort and sell DSLRs.
I have shitfuckloads of Uni work to do. I haven't done anything so far. I am not kidding.
And tonight I am spending with Plato.
What makes me sad is that everyone wants me to be healthy. Well that's great, seeing me healthy again, I am fucking glad you enjoy it. But how about seeing me HAPPY again?
Actually what is missing from my happiness is him. But that's a different story.
Worry not, I actually don't care )
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Comissions and art trades open, though I won't do anyhting before the end of teh month.
I have a couple of ideas. Would you like me to list them or something like that?
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WORK WORK WORK. Fuck this shit.
The neck and then the chain My head is hung in shame.
I had a couple of question, but mostly I wanna know, why you don´t like yourself that much. - But if this one is too rude, I´d like to know, what makes you happy. (I had that question before the "What makes me sad..."-part of the journal...really. ^^)
Oh, haha no, it's not rude at all but I really don't know how to answer that. It's not that I don't like myself, you know, I have to live with it. It's just that I lack confidence and self-esteem. That's how the life shaped me ))
When you could change something from your childhood, now after you see and know what or who you are now - what had you changed if you had the power to?
Hmmm, good question. Possibly everything lol. But first, I'd never get fat. I wuldn't have a gram of fat on me so I could never be abused for it. It did scar me wuite a lot. And many other things regarding relations with my family, but they are not such a simple issue ^^
If you knew more.... HAha.
Best wishes.
It's not that I don't like myself, you know, I have to live with it. It's just that I lack confidence and self-esteem. That's how the life shaped me ))
And many other things regarding relations with my family, but they are not such a simple issue ^^